2011年7月12日星期二

巿場

巿場是個有趣且充滿活力的地方。早上運動了一下,想說再去巿場吃個早餐,想去巫提到的「新鮮豆漿店」吃,雖然我以前研一時就吃過了,但是很久沒吃,就再去走走吧。路上看到老爺爺坐在路邊,很想跟他打招呼,不過老爺爺好像在發呆,我也就不打擾他了,而走了一小段路,另一位有點年紀的長輩在路邊按著小腹,作呼吸導引,我也很想跟他打招呼,不過我也沒有打。這是怎麼回事呢?我在想,可能是以前眷村的習性吧,習慣了看到長輩就要問好,或者點頭。在法學院附近的仁愛國宅,很多榮民,雖然居住形態不太一樣了,不過總覺得看到長輩很有親切感。對了,今早出門時,還遇到黃先生在打掃公衛學院呢,他提醒我要跟三樓的同學和助理講,垃圾分類要作好。他認為小事要作好,人才作得好(這是我的詮釋)。

走到了杭州南路,路過金歐女中,逐漸進入巿場的範圍,說是巿場,其實也就是一條街。阿姨坐在路邊,賣小魚,秤在她的旁邊;阿伯在機車旁邊,前面放了一個大袋子,大袋裡有好多小包的蓮子。杭州湯包店裡變成了小菜巿,新移民朋友拿了一根大山藥(大概快四五十公分的大山藥),旁邊的阿姨打腔說「這根就送妳啦~」賣菜的店員,一個大男生,傻笑,也許他心裡想著,「大嬸呀~你嘛幫幫忙,那有人在送一大根山藥的啦,這是要賣的吶~」總之一派活潑的氣象。走到比較密集賣菜賣肉的地方,看到一位白髮阿嬤,拿著相簿在看,臉上的欣喜表露無疑。我偷偷瞄了一下相簿,是小朋友的照片,三個小朋友一起合照,有好多張。我猜想,也許是阿嬤的乖孫吧?我想起家裡奶奶看照片的樣子,我想對於老人家來說,能夠看到自己的兒女子孫都平安快樂,會讓他們覺得非常滿足開心吧?「情」對於老人家來說,或許比起名或利都是更實在的東西吧?(只是在年輕的時候,也許我們會把名和利都放在前面吧?)

走到了路口,一位奶奶喊另一位奶奶:「你不要過去」,我還沒能理解過來,就看到另一位奶奶闖過了紅燈,往中正紀念堂走去。我心想,還真危險呀!還好沒有車,這位奶奶也沒有事。我突然覺得人好像好固執,固執也不一定是擇善,有時是貪圖快、方便,但是在我們這些晚輩看來,真的好危險,也讓人捏一把冷汗。

走到了新鮮豆漿店(全名是汕頭新鮮豆漿店),我看了一下菜單,哦嗚~~沒有甜餅,我決定折回杭州湯包吃,但是走到斑馬線一半,想說今天既然決定要吃了,那還是吃這一家吧。於是我折返,進了新鮮豆漿店。店員的睫毛夾的翹翹,看起來很有精神的樣子,或許這就是她重視這分工作的一種表現吧?(讓自己看起來很有精神)我點了燒餅油條,還有熱豆漿少糖。在店裡找了位置,不過店裡的風實在是太大了,四個強力電風扇對著桌子和店員吹,我被強風襲擊,包圍,好像自己在山頂風凜冽處吹著燒餅油條,像是登山客在吃早餐的感覺。我慢慢地品嚐自己的早餐。一位女性(也許是媽媽)來買早餐,跟店員聊天,說上次買的豆漿變成了豆花。店員說,可是因為冰過的關係,我們的豆漿都蠻濃的。在風口吃早餐的我,大口大口吃著燒餅油條,偶然浸一下豆漿。吃完了早餐,觀察了一下早餐店,發現店裡有六個人,一個人捍餅,兩人炸油條(一位阿伯好像有點累,在一邊休息,他們兩人手上都拿著長筷子)一個人收桌子(年輕小弟),一個人在作蛋餅,一位在買賣處,交貨與收錢。小小店家,六個人,我昨天看到的青島豆漿,也是差不多五六個人,看起來這些中式早餐店要經營,是需要一定的人力的。

吃完了早餐,過了馬路,慢步回宿舍。路上看到有人拿著大炮相機,在騎樓裡對著頂上,我放眼一看,原來棟梁之間有鳥巢,鶵鳥正張嘴待哺,或許攝影師期待等到大鳥歸來,帶著食物餵哺的那一刻吧?路過了好幾家西式早餐店(類似美而美之類的),相對來說沒有什麼人。經過一家早餐店,老板正在切蛋餅,老板人高馬大,但是切蛋餅的動作卻很斯文,老板娘(也許是老板娘?)穿著迷彩的圍兜,在店裡幫忙。我幻想,也許這位老板是國軍退役下來的吧?想要過平淡的日子,所以跟老婆一起開一家早餐店,一起打拼?感覺雖然生活可能會有點辛苦,但是我覺得這樣的日子也很浪漫。不過,這只是我的幻想哦,得要去跟老板聊聊,才能知道他背後的故事呢!

我在想,菜巿場或許是一個前現代性的地方,如果現代性的代表物件是玻璃的話。法國思想家布希亞認為,玻璃是現代性的材質,人們可以看得到物件,但碰不到物件,人們消費物件,不是消費物件本身,而是消費其形象,其符號。符號則是各種差異的指涉,差異來自於社會位階之別。但是我覺得菜巿場不是如此,人們拿著青菜把玩,人們實際地交流,人們就在此地生活。人們不是隔著玻璃在玩「安全之吻」的遊戲,人們是實實在在地互相接觸、交流、買賣。我看到坐著輪椅的老太太,由人推著逛菜巿,臉上有著笑容。我看到新移民感受到菜巿場人的熱情。當然有時也會感受到等不到顧客上門的百無聊賴的心情。但是無論如何,我覺得這場景好真實。

慢步回到宿舍,心情非常好,覺得菜巿場真是個富有活力的地方,形形色色的人,不同的人在此交會,也許只是買菜,但是那股交會的力量,有著讓生命甦醒起來的力量。當我站在路上,一邊是菜巿場,一邊是蓄勢待發、等著綠燈的摩托車騎士和汽車司機們,我知道這個城巿要開始運轉了 :)

2011年7月11日星期一

晨行 青島豆漿店

今天早上七點起來,洗了衣服,騎著腳踏車,去找好吃的早餐。沿著杭州南路騎腳踏車,陽陽煦煦,身體暖呼呼。看到了一家沒吃過的早餐店,店前時不時總是有四到五個人在排隊,店名是青島豆漿店。我點了肉餅和甜餅,還有少糖溫豆漿。肉餅上來了,形狀像包子,但是麵皮是酥酥的,咬下去,油汁流溢出來,肉有點像是獅子頭樣子的肉,但是紅紅的,蠻不錯吃的。甜餅也蠻大的,像燒餅油條的燒餅形狀,但是是封閉起來的,酥皮咬下去,有甜甜的味道。相較於中正紀念堂旁的杭州豆漿的甜餅,青島豆漿的甜餅的體積大概是二倍。青島的會吃的比較飽,而杭州的甜餅則比較酥而香。

我邊吃著早餐,邊觀察這家裡面店員的互動。大家都很熟練地作著自己分內的工作。一位在焗(完全不知道該用什麼字來形容這種炊煮動作)餅的小姐,和桿麵皮的先生,兩個人一邊聊著天,動作沒停下來。小姐說「你知道不知道拔蘿蔔很辛苦呀~有一首歌叫作拔蘿蔔的」先生說「哦,真的嗎?那你唱來聽聽 (感覺他不是不知道,但是覺得好玩,想逗她唱歌)」小姐說「真的啦!拔蘿蔔很辛苦的。」我在旁邊聽了覺得好想笑,但沒有笑出來。旁邊的阿姨說「真的嗎?」小姐就開始唱起來了「嘿唷嘿唷拔蘿蔔,嘿唷嘿唷拔不動~」大家的表情都好愉快,客人一個一個上門,店裡的人手腳也沒停下來過,煎蛋餅、焗甜餅,煮豆漿,倒豆漿,非常的有秩序。每個餅長的不太一樣,不過每個餅都是店家現烤現作的。我的腦海裡一直迴繞著「嘿唷嘿唷拔不動」的腔調,真的有這句嗎?不知道,但是覺得很好玩。我算好了,交給店家。出門牽腳踏車,看到剛才閉目養神的阿伯,繼續烤餅,真感謝這家店的開朗氣氛,整個早晨都明亮了起來。城巿裡真是有趣的地方,城巿的意義就在於探索未知吧?(不過,我想心智多少還是眷戀村落,離不開那豐沛的人情味,那熱切交往的渴望吧?)

想到《在天堂遇見的五個人》的書,也許每個人相遇都是有道理的,而人與人的緣份是難得的。人與人的連結在於溝通與傳遞某些訊息,不管這些訊息是透過語言還是透過肢體動作,或者只是透過某些徵象或者文字媒介。人的意識是否具有一貫性,如果此身已朽,我的意識是否還能存在?天地間是否真有靈神,人與人之間的心有靈犀跟靈神的交會有無關係?是不是真的存在所謂的集體意識?我不知道。不過最近在想,天地不仁與上帝分別善惡加以懲罰,的確是很不同的思考方式呀。

2011年7月9日星期六

6th day English Practice

i just sit down, and continue my writing. I have stoped for two days, and now I am back writing. I need more discipline and self-control.

Today I got up at 7:30, and I do exercise by running around the dormitory. I ran for 2000 steps about 25 minutes. I sweated and felt very comfortable. I got a 淋浴, and learning Bible. At 10:20, I met Sing. At 11:50, We went out for lunch. Sing wanted to eat at Diner Restaurant. However, there are too many people there. So we went another restaurant nearby to eat our brunch. There are some books at the restaurant. I read a book called "Five people you met in the heaven" fastly. This book wants to tell us that people in the world are related, no matter living or dead. Things happeded are determined, not occasionally. The author told a story interesting but a little sad to reader.

After lunch. We went to my research studio. Sing had a rest. I resorted my books borrowed from the library. Because I had finished my term paper yesterday, I will return the books to the NTU library tomorrow. I classified the books into two parts: a memo needed or not in my computer. At 4:30, I invited Sing to go for walking. We wet to Fu-Zou San, and had a short distance walk. We searched for good places for dinner. We found restaurants on the 信安 Street, We ate Japanese Cusine. We had 炒飯、花Sushi、and Tofu. Not bad, but we consider the resaurant near the 雙連 MRT station is better. After dinner, we took a walk, and noticed there are other restaurant full of people. People will be our reference for our choosing resturants next time. Next time We want to eat at a 鐵板燒. We went to 安居街, and walked into the Cosmed Shop. Sing bought her equipments, and I did my field observation in this store, tried to found out the logics of the arrangment of the commodities. At 8:00, we met 晨嘉. With 晨嘉, we had a walk and chatted. We chatted at a cafe (I met a cat on the road). We talked about jobs, English teaching and learning, life and future. 晨嘉 is very talktive. I enjoyed our talk. At 9:40, we said goodbye because 晨嘉 must get up early tomorrow morning, so she need to go home early. What we talked catched me is a topic: maybe a writer (culture observer) is more proper to me than a sociologist. Maybe, but I will keep my writing. I think the sociological training is good for me, so why not be a sociological students. I want to sharpen my pen, and write touching articles. This is what I want to do.

2011年7月6日星期三

5th beer drink depressed

Today Night I felt a little depressed, Because I did not deal with personal relations well tonight. I can't do two things at the same time. I should tell my frineds I have a date at the same time. However, let it . I was confused how to write my final report. I don't know how to integret all my data together. Hohaha give me six Cool Noodles, I ate with Sing tonight after Sing's finishing her yoga classes. I drank beer together, and felt a little hot. But comfertable. I am little anxious. I have doubt. I have question. I don't want do things. Too negative, isn't it? I just want to finish my final report and get relaxed, then prepare for qualification test. I am not happy today. Maybe I should relax and read some books. I want to listen to Bible, I wish it could relax me. That's all. I am sweating, it's so hot.

4th day writing an exciting day about debate


I get up early, walk around 中正memorial hall, and eat breakfast. The market is very intesting, and I write down what I see in the morning. I read Professor 葉's Book, and write some memo on my board on the PTT2. Boa asks me some question, then I answer, and I deviate the topic. I didn't keep my emotion from discussing between and got crazy about writing. After lunch with Sing, I came back and kept writing and responsing. I couldn't control myself and typed too much. I complained the institution, the automoshere between classmates etc. I felt very tired and very exhausted. Too much negatvie thouth in my mind. I ate dinner with Sing. We ate at 日本洋食 at noon, and ate at 盛園小籠包 at night. How delicious food are in the both restaurant! After dinner, took Sing her home, and I went to Boa's place, waiting for him. I met Boa, and discussed with him. We got some conclusion:

1. We must keep and stimulate discussing.
2. When discussing, without too much emotion. Just talked things and don't blur things together.
3. God help those who help themselves.
4. We must do something, then we can say something.
5. Read book seriously and learn hard.
6. A viewpoint is always a point of view. (觀察點問題)

That's all. Discussing with friends is so wonderful!



2011年7月5日星期二

[隨筆] 早晨觀察 隨筆記事

早餐紀行

今天一大早起來,覺得身體懶懶的,索性就接上耳機,聽著英文,去中正紀念堂(自由廣

場)散步。聽著英文的演講,腦中時不時有些想法,真可惜沒有帶筆出來,所以只打打斷

演講,用手機錄下來,回來再整理。(也許我可以再改寫我的論文,把最後討論中藥房的

部份,結合最近的研究,作探索性的討論;也想到學弟提到不知道怎麼寫計劃書,覺得他

應該搜集一下以前他的指導老師的學生的計劃當作範本來寫,應該會事半功倍;也想到也

許可以作一個身體社會學的研究,討論中正紀念堂的老人家們,集體運動、作體操,練氣

功,是否真的有效,他們是怎麼樣認識自己的身體與一定的功法之間的關係,他們對於該

運動的認知是什麼呢?功法的詮釋和身體的感受之間又有什麼關係呢?)


在中正紀念堂,看到幾位看護朋友,三位坐在一旁,幾位老人家坐在一起,然後她們似乎

在觀察我的觀察,發現到我有在注意她們,這是他們的警覺心嗎?這反應出來是不是台灣

某種程度上的監控社會呢?另一位則是在一位老人家旁邊,扭動身體,似乎像有聽歌,但

是又沒看到耳機,可能她只是想運動運動身子吧?一位老人家,鼻子插著管子,身體蜷曲

著,我當下覺得那是個「被禁錮的靈魂」,卻又不知道該說什麼才好,希望這只是我的誤

識,而不是集體的事實。

思索著「禁錮的靈魂」,走了一段路,看到許多長輩們正在作運動、太極拳,或者各式各

樣伸展筋骨的方式。或許身體也希望得到救贖吧?或者,身體必須得到救贖,心也才能自

在吧?我不知道,但是我對老人家的養生保健很感興趣,有機會希望能多多了解一下,老

人家們到底在想些什麼。


之後去了盛園,點了蜜糖酥餅、鍋貼和豆漿。拿下了耳機,靜靜地享用美食。應該跟老板

說豆漿不要加糖的,不過因為我還沒攪拌,所以糖都沉澱在下方,那我就撈上面的來喝吧

。一位坐在我前方的男性,看起來帥帥的,有點原住民的感覺,褲子的口袋還有手套。老

板拿了他放在桌上的杯子,又舀了一杯豆漿給他。不知道為什麼,我覺得這是我們表達感

情的方式,我們總是透過食物來傳達我們不好意思言說的情感、照顧與關懷。也許是我誤

解,也許是我借題發揮,但是我們的社會關係的確很大很大一部份是建立在飲食之上,想

起家人在飯桌邊一起吃飯,想起和老友一起聚餐,想起各式各樣的聚會。食物始終是我們

表達情感的一種方式。一杯醋,追求的是健康,但確認的則是社會關係。醋不在了,關係

似乎也就無從維繫,也無從彰顯了與肯定的。人與人的關係建立在交換之上,不管是互動

或者是言語的交換,我們都企圖建立關係,或者確定關係。只要有交換,就有關係。沒交

換,沒關係。交換繫憑於行動或物。


思念算不算行動呢?就韋伯的意義來說,思及他人即社會行動,我想是的,儘管不見得能

夠得到回應,但我想仍算是的。這種思念隨時有可能被某事、某物感召,而相互呼應,我

們也許都不經意地在某個時候潸然淚下,就像「父後七日」最後讓女主哭的,那想買煙回

家給父親的念頭一般,無法抵禦。


離開了盛園,一路上是小菜巿,耳機也就不聽了,來逛一下菜巿吧。阿嬷一邊賣竹筍,一

邊削竹筍,把竹筍削的很漂亮,時間一點都沒有浪費。肉販正在切削分割肉體,剖成兩半

的雞,等待成為不知道誰家的盤中飧。等待交易的港式燒賣;席地而坐的賣菜;最有趣的

是,杭州小籠包的店面竟成了一籃一籃菜的集散地,菜也放在店面裡供客人挑選;店面旁

邊有一位阿伯一邊拉筋(手置於背後拉腳伸展),他前面放著幾包包好的蓮子要賣,物品

看起來有點稀少,我走過,不知道這蓮子究竟好不好,我在想,如果我要賣蓮子的話,還

是會選有店面的店家,或者是中藥行,因為我實在不知道他的蓮子是否安全可靠。我在想

,關於經濟交易中的信任關係究竟是怎麼建立的呢?我似乎比較相信店面(制度?),而

對於單幫客則有些遲疑,為什麼呢?


回程的時候,在一家仙草店的牆上,貼著一張海報,我好奇地過去看,發現是北一女熱舞

社成果展的海報。我是先看圖再看字的,當下第一個感覺是,感覺好像不太成熟,我指的

是這些人看起來年紀太小了。我誠實地紀錄下我的感覺,因為我覺得這反過來可以看我自

己是如何看待「女性身體」以及「熱舞」之間的關係,我想像的熱舞的身體,好像就是要

很辣的那種,或許這就是電視媒體的影響?我們的觀點、看法,究竟被各種媒體左右到什

麼程度,這點我也是很好奇。


回到了宿舍,看到小石磚道旁都是狗狗的便便,我在想,狗狗如果大在路中間,我一定會

想K牠,可是牠大在邊邊,好像就比較可以接受一點,畢竟狗狗也是有需要的。這可以算

是人與狗之間的「秩序問題」嗎?我可以寫個題目叫作「人狗之間──論人行道的秩序問

題」不過這題目這樣寫好像太限縮了,改成「人狗之爭-談人與動物之間的秩序問題,以

人行道上的狗便為例」。不過,這題目實在又臭又長,如果有編輯的話,編輯可能會跟我

說,你的題目是個shit,我看那我就實在太囧了。


剛開始工作啦~YA!

2011年7月4日星期一

3rd Day a day checking students’ grades, singing songs and discussed the questionnaire about ice

I get up at 6:30 in the morning, buy the breakfast, I ordered a cup of 豆漿 and buy芝麻燒餅與水煎包. I eat in the research room. Then I start my daily work. I check the grades of my two teachers’ students and this checking cost me about two and half hour. Then I went to meet with Professor M and change our opinions toward his dissertation and our department. We talked about these topics:

1) writing a paper is trying to communication, not to show off, so a clear writing style is the best policy than ambiguous. For example, when we talked about Bourdieu’s mathematical formula, habitus= X+Y, do we really know what we are talking, do we know what Bourdieu talks, or did Bourdieu really know what he was talking? Or this is a cheating? A bullying? Did he want to cheat us, or cheat any other people in academia? Before we understand Bourdieu’s terminology, we shouldn’t use it. If we can explain and communicate in easy and clear words, then just do it. Simple is beautiful. I trust clarity is the most important thing when we are writing academic articles.

2) about the research method. He use historiography method in his dissertation. I asked him why he used this method. He replied me: “By the method, we can delineate the collective attributes among the intellectuals.” Just re-counting on the number of people and where they graduate and other dimension, we could get interesting results. Just as the statistical graphs, if we can re-make them in other way (maybe change the order of the items, or displace items in line into in column), there may be other history we can talk. This are different ways to play the statistical game, so are other data we get from literature or interviews.

3) third, we talked about the translation question. If we want write Chinese people’s names. Before 1949, We must write in 威妥瑪 spelling, now we must do in 漢語spelling. Translation is always a question and we can dispute on translation. Taking Durkheim’s conscience as an example, there are two meanings in one word in French, but if we want to express it in English, we need two words such as collective consciousness and collective conscience.(I am not very sure here) Actually, we shouldn’t stick to the English translation of the French words. We should trace back to the original word and translate it into Chinese directly. Having the ideas been translated in another will miss some meanings. Having the ideas translated second-handedly will lost a lot of meaning. Therefore, if we can trace back to the original, we should hold the copy as it was an original.

4) Academic cheating. Do what you should do, don’t do things corrupting your integrity. M said “integrity is the best policy.” I agree with this idea. Whether will I be a academic guy in future, I will keep this integrity in all my life. I believe academic affair a vocation, not a job. Schools are places to teach students, not to employ students.

5) M share me a website “I-tune.” In I-tune store, we see “i-tune U.” There are many university courses on the website of “i-tune”. These recorded courses are high class. The English courses can also train my English ability. I can learn new knowledge and English at the same time. Too marvelous!

After talking to M. I went to sing, for celebrating our course tasks having been finished. Friend sang many interesting songs: 無字的信批、新男性的復仇、追追追。We also dance during the songs of 草猛. F is happy, W is happy, all we are happy. Dancing is funny. One hour after F’s and W’s leaving, a friend sang 蕭煌奇’s song:阿嬷的話. I can’t help but cry, bursting my tears out. I missed my grandma. I hope she lives well in another world. I believe God would bless her and her husband (that is, my grandfather) and take good care of them. Mayday’s song are cool, and the song called female and male mind in the same body is also cool. Interesting! When Y sing the “love movive”, it’s amazing, a wonderful voice. After today’s singing and dancing, I am more convinced Roosevelt’s words “when play, play hard; when work, don’t play.” Playing hard makes me relaxed. This experience is so special, and makes we think about the possible other types of life. Maybe life is really a game, let’s play. Don’t be so serious, let us just play. I hope laugh and smile are always with me, I want this!

At night, after eating no good dinner, S and I went back to research room. We talked about the ice research. I drank a can of beer, and discussed with her, trying to make interesting titles and sub-titles for the paper. We had a brainstorming and we enjoyed it. About 9:30 P.M., we went back home and called it a day! A lovely day! :)